Our New Baby Boy!

Friday night I started having what I thought could have been labor contraction for about two hours. I was so tired and thought about the needles and the pain of contraction so much that it really felt like I talked myself out of labor. All of these contractions subsided and I fell asleep and life continued. About ten o'clock last night I got another wind of these same painful contractions that I did not want to bare the pain of again. Isaac has been sleeping in the same room as us as we are in the Ronald McDonald house which I have been hoping that I go into labor during the day because of. I decided to take a bath to help ease the pain. The pain is still there and Isaac is not going back to bed so I finally tell Ben after a good 7 tires it is not worth it. I take another bath and still the pain is less then desirable. I finally try to think about who to call here since that part either was explained to me and it went in one ear and out the other or had not been told to me. I really almost called my doctors back in Idaho. But I just tried the clinic and someone answered right away it was great. I tried explaining to her what was going on and she said to just come on in and the only way to know was to be checked. I then proceded to tell her about how I was not sure and yadda yadda yadda. She basically said well just go in it wont hurt. My thoughts on the matter were rather different, I really thought that I was not in labor I was wanting relief from the contractions and I mostly did not want to look like an idiot going to the hospital with a one year old and my husband for a false call, how embarrassing. Well what really got me to go in was she said she was putting a call over to let them know I was coming. Uh ok I guess I really am going to the hospital then. We make sure we have the diaper bag for Isaac and head out the door. 

I am still not really believing that I am in labor but I let them check me in. I ask them what would admit me in since I have been a 4 for weeks the midwifes response you don't need much change just some. Well when we got to the hospital at 3am she said I was a 5 so they were going to admit me in. To me I am still wondering if this is all worth it or not. We call Ben's parents to come get Isaac since me in labor and his emotions might not be the best combo. I ask for a tub room and they take me to one. About the time that Ben's parents get there I ask how often my contractions are apart she says 1 to 2 mins. I decided then that I am really in labor. The nurse got everything together to give me an IV and I do my usual questioning of are you good? I pretty much left it at that since everyone here has really been great. Well this was one of those times that I should not have left it alone so easily. This nurse is the exact reason why I do not do needles. Literally she is digging it around and whatever else, I am screaming and yelling at her that she is done and that it hurts. This is with no exaggeration I am yelling and telling her she is done and gets no other chances. She has another women come do it and like a charm it works. I am seriously build my hatred for the girl who said she was good. Everyone that has seen me has said my vein are good and it is never a problem.

Here is the problem this nurse started taking away all my pain with counter pressure for every contraction. Now I love her. She was so wonderful to me and stayed in the room the whole time until her shift was up. Heaven sent she was. She was there for everything and just sweet and perfect. I suppose I got over the failed IV rather quickly after she took away my pain. She asked to leave once to go to the bathroom and I seriously looked at her like I was going to die. She said Ben could do what she was doing since it was pretty easy just pushing again my knees. Sweet husband tried and just did not do it right at all. I really needed her back and she took long enough to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I thought I was going to die I was in the middle of contractions trying to explain to Ben how he is doing it wrong and crocked and it was not the best combo. I was never mad just in a ton of pain.

I know that they checked me again and I was a 7 I can't remember the hour

I know that they checked me again and I was a 9 plus with a bludging bag of water

At 7 am I got a whole new staff including the doctor. I got a new nurse who was very sweet but rather weak by comparison. Her efforts to do the counter pressure we 100% her physical ability to do them as well was not quite. Before my buff and burly nurse left she checked me and I was  9 plus with a little bit of cervix there.

When they checked me and I was great than a 9 they started to talk to me about breaking my water to get the baby here sooner. I started to really complain about the pain once I was at least a 9 because the pain changed and it really hurt no matter what the nurses did as counter pressure. I told them that I was the natural kind of person and that is why I did not have any medication. It might have even been the nurse who just did not have the weight behind her that caused the greater pain but who knows. I refused the offer to break my water for a few hours since I knew all things would happen. I went for a few more hours of this pain and had the new staff explain to me the risks and all that jazz. The only thing they really had for me is you will get rid of this pain and the baby will be here soon.

Since I got into the Labor and Delivery room the were working fast to have everything ready and put together. I had the baby pediatrics and everything squared away. This new doctor was also the sweetest guy. He got down on my level and talked so kindly to me and explained the whole breaking the water thing to me a few times and then I told him to talk with Ben about it and see what he thinks. The Doctor's response was it is your body. I said I know but I need to know what he thinks. Ben had it explained to him and I was seriously done with the pain so I finally gave in and had them break my water. I thought in my mind that it would be a half hour or hour more before the baby came.

When they broke my water I was on my side. Right after ok maybe in the same second as when they broke my water I was pushing that baby out of me on my side..... That was the weirdest thing ever, it all happened sooo fast. Within 10 min our baby was out. While pushing I kept saying get him out, get him out! Is he out yet just get him out. I was so done pushing and the pain of that. They kept telling me to keep pushing and whatever else and after every push I would ask again if he was out yet.

I kept saying that I was not going to get to see or hold my baby and I think they were mindful of that because they gave him to me right away and I got to hold him for a good 20 mins while the stitched up my tiny tear and checked me for whatever else.

Ben kept telling me things about the baby but mostly I was too annoyed with the stitches and that I was not going to get to hold my baby very long to really hear what he was saying at all. Everyone kept telling me to look at my baby or notice this and quite frankly they put him up so high that I could barely see him and my body was shaking so much I couldn't move him either. Dark black hair that was long and lots of it. After awhile of the chaos he started to fuss a little bit and I tried to speak to him to calm him. It worked I could calm him.

He was acting very hungry right before they took him away and I knew that I couldn't nurse him. This absolutely killed me. He was hungry and needed me and everyone else got to take him and do as they pleased to him. I needed him too I needed him to nurse from me and help my uterus to contract. At this point he had had no heart problems and heart was healthy so I had Ben go with him to the normal nursery.

I was asking for food and the breakfast was not anything that I wanted they offered me other things of equally no satisfying taste. So I had the nurse and Ben feed me the cantelope from the plate. So I could take some pain meds which I really needed. I kept asking why I was in so much pain and my stomach keep feeling like I was having contractions and let me side step with you for a bit. I really hate IV's and the things they can allow people to do with you. Ok so apparently without my consent at all they started giving me pitocin. What are you kidding me, why were you giving me that. Apparently there was a small bulge in my uterus and they wanted to get rid of it. Well gee duh give me my baby and let him nurse. I was so mad that they just gave me something without even asking or telling me. Oh it hurt so bad for over an hour like I was going to have a baby.

The nurse that was staying with me to help with everything was just emotionally perfect. She kept telling me how perfect my baby was and advocating for me to get more time with him. She was working on getting me right over to see my baby and then we would shower and get all the way ready. we were in the wheelchair backing up when two people walked in I should have known they were not here to report happy things. I was informed that Jarom went into his super fast heart rate. They took him over to the NICU. I sat there crying everything that was so perfect was now who knows what. The chances for me holding my baby were even less. This meant that the IV he got away from was not attached. I just could not even look at them I sat there fiddling with the blanket that was over me. The nurse said that we could still go see me baby and so I finally agreed to go do that. It was comforting that I had Ben come eat and then go back with our baby. I was hopeful that he was there but I was not sure all I knew was he was not back with me so most likely he was with our baby. They wheeled me in and I had the lady stop because there was at least 15 people around him  doing who knows what other than the had needles and I did not want to be over there. Ben came over and briefly told me what was going on and asked me if I wanted to go over I said there was needles then no I would wait.

I waited till most of the chaos was gone and Ben came back over to me and told me one of the things that they were actually doing. They tried ice to get his heart rate to go down but that didn't work. They had to stop his heart and start it again. Ben said he actually saw it all flatline and come back. He came back over with tissues for me and the nurse helping push me in the wheelchair. We went over to his little bed and I saw that stupid IV that I knew he would have along with all the other cords connected to him. This was pretty much the first time that I was able to see him since when they put him on me after birth he was up so high. A number of other things happened that I can no longer remember.